Opinion: Why social media makes us behave badly in relationships

Extreme, exaggerated, fake and unrealistic relationships are often portrayed on social media, especially when it comes to long-term partnerships and family. Particularly for younger people, setting an example of unrealistic parenting standards can lead to distorted perceptions of healthy relationships. Some things are even normalized that can even harm or hinder a healthy relationship.

Why is something perceived as “normal” simply because social media portrays it as such? This is mainly because creators definitely don't post full truths online. The beautiful, nice and harmonious moments in life will be shared, while arguments and disagreements are left out. This can lead to people seeing disagreements as something abnormal and therefore miss out on strategies for finding solutions or healthy communication habits. In short, if we only see “positive” and “happy” couples, we might end up blaming our partners when we’re not happy. 

It would be more useful to see how couples navigate relationship challenges. Communication in relationships is critical to make life together as mutually enjoyable as possible, but also a sustainable relationship.

Another point is the false standards online portrayals of romantic pairs set. There are a lot of statements circulating on the Internet such as, “You don’t have to change for your partner.” In principle, you should not change your hobbies, friends and characteristics just to please someone. But sometimes this statement is interpreted to mean that your partner does not have the right to offer criticism or have different viewpoints, otherwise it means they do not accept. But that's not it. Working on bad habits in order to build a better bond with each other isn’t weakness, it’s fundamental. 

Romantic gestures and gender roles are also normalized on social media. No, you can't expect your husband to buy you new flowers every day, and at some point you won't have to do anything because your husband is so rich that he pays for your entire life. In some cases, you might personally like these gestures - and that’s fine. But we should not expect what is normal for others to be our normal.  

It's important not to believe everything on the internet, to question things and not to always expect everything that others might have. Flowers every now and then and good communication is still healthier and more fundamental to a healthy relationship than unattainable standards spread on social media.